never a dull moment at the pd
Published on October 15, 2010 By Locamama In Just Hanging Out

I work at the police department and even though I'm not an officer I learn so many things from reading their reports.  I thought I would share some of the wisdom that I learned from just one shift. 

If you have warrants and you think you are smart and will give a fake name and birthdate to fool the officers, be smart enough not to tell the officers your birthday is November 31.  Congratulations you have just added failure to ID to your charges.  Another suggestion, take care of your business then you don't have to worry about those warrants.

If you tell the officers that it wasn't you but your evil twin who was wearing the same clothes, you are still going to jail while your evil twin merrily goes on with their lives. 

If a man offers to give you a massage because it's his hobby...just say no thanks.  Really? women fall for this?

If you bought it in the parking lot, it's probably stolen.  Actually you probably stole it, you just said you bought it from someone in the parking lot because you were stupid enough to go pawn it like there isn't a pawn shop detail looking for stolen merchandise. 

If you don't know your friends last name, where they live, where they work, their phone number or pretty much anything about them except their physical description and that their street name is Spider, you probably shouldn't let them borrow your car.

Don't steal from Walmart.  Walmart has cameras EVERYWHERE!  They will bust you and they will make you go to jail.  They do not let you just get a nice little citation to pay and send you on your merry way.  Nope, you're going to jail.  And don't think you're tricky not scanning certain items.  There are cameras on the registers...duh!  Don't think your sneaky switching tags even though you have your friend looking out for you there's probably a camera zooming in on you and you not only get a shoplifting charge but a fraud charge too.  Hey here's a fabulous idea.  Get a job and buy the things you can afford.  If you can't afford them, leave them at the store. 

Bottom line.  Police officers aren't stupid.  Criminals are.

 

 

 


Comments
on Oct 15, 2010

Loca, you remind me of well, ME when I worked for the PD in Wichita Falls Texas as a dispatcher/911 operator. 

And people wonder why police officers often have such a bad attitude.  The ones I knew, usually went into public service out of a sense of "higher good" and after a few years of dealing with the scum of the earth, didn't have a very good outlook on the human race.  Well the non-police/civilian part of it anyway.

Can't say I blame them. 

on Oct 15, 2010

Oh and WOO HOO!!  Glad to see you back.  I love your FB updates, but its just not the same as reading you!

Bakerstreet recently returned as well.

on Oct 15, 2010

You should start a regular feature of this!  Thanks for the laughs. 

on Oct 15, 2010

Well, at least you have something to entertain you while you are working. People really are nuts aren't they? After the laughing comes the realization that there are lots and lots of these people and that's not only sad but scary.

It's good to see you writing here.

on Oct 15, 2010

very interesting and humorus Loca.  Enjoyed it.  I love to hear the stupid criminal stories.  You have to ask.. "what were they thinking???   Glad to see you back as well

on Oct 15, 2010

Glad to be back.  Yep I have more to say than I can say on a facebook update.

I love to hear the stupid criminal stories. You have to ask.. "what were they thinking???

Exactly KFC.  Usually they're not thinking at all. 

After the laughing comes the realization that there are lots and lots of these people and that's not only sad but scary.
 

Some nights it really does get to me.  I just think we should all have our own cave and stay away from each other.  People can be so horrible to each other and even more so to people they are supposed to love and care about.

You should start a regular feature of this! Thanks for the laughs.

I just might do that.  There is really never a dull moment.  It does make it a little easier to get through the night.

And people wonder why police officers often have such a bad attitude.

I do worry sometimes that I am not as compassionate.  When I first started I would just pray for those runaways and missing persons and now I kind of have a who cares attitude.  I guess I figure they're where they want to be.  The only one's I feel bad for in that situation now are the people who are making the reports and worried to death, usually a grandma who has custody of a wild teenager. 

 

on Oct 15, 2010

When I first started I would just pray for those runaways and missing persons and now I kind of have a who cares attitude.

That is what Nitro was talking about.  It is sad, but I suspect it is a self defense mechanism.  We can only be "outraged" or "empathetic" for just so long before we have to shut down to preserve our own sanity.

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