Published on March 30, 2010 By Locamama In Current Events

My heart breaks for this poor girl who committed suicide because of the extreme bullying at her school.  I am glad that the kids who contributed to this are going to face some consequences.  I do hope that this tragedy does bring changes in how some schools handle bullying.  This is not some little misunderstanding, kids being kids behavior.  The teachers and administration need to pay attention and step in and stop this garbage.  The schools need to have anti-bullying policies and actually enforce them. 

My son has some challenges and is very socially awkward.  He has no friends which I think bothers me more than it bothers him.  I have been so lucky that one of the vice principals at his high school will step in and stop the bullying.  My concern has always been whether my son can learn in an environment like that.   Now I see that that seems to be a secondary issue when there are kids taking their lives over bullying. 

I just want to thank all of the kids who stick up for the bullied instead of joining in.  It is hard for kids to speak up because they worry that they will then too become a target of the bullies.  I want to thank all the teachers and administrators who recognize that this is unacceptable and put a stop to it.  I want to thank all the parents who teach their kids the best way to treat each other is with respect and understanding.  I just hope that this never happens again. 

 


Comments
on Mar 30, 2010

That story has nagged at me as well.  I know enough to know that kids can be cruel at times, but I agree with you that this case goes far over the line.

Good luck with your son.  He will probably be the next guy to create a product and earn a gozillion dollars!

on Mar 30, 2010

My son seems to be content enough with his life.  I just worry that he will always live with me and only want to play games and not shower - lol. 

on Mar 30, 2010

I could never get that one that happened last year (I believe) out of my head, where the friends mom pretended to be a boy online and helped drive the girl to suicide. She got away with it BTW. Parents really need to help build their children's confidence levels up at home. It might not stop a bully at school, but it will help them see their self-worth. It's a pity she appears to have been an attractive young lady, hardly the homely type that are usually the victims.

on Mar 30, 2010

It's a pity she appears to have been an attractive young lady, hardly the homely type that are usually the victims.
  It would have been a pity no matter what she looked like.  It seems like she was in a relationship of some sort with one of the bulliers and the group of friends turned on her.  I'm sure more details will come out in the trial.

Parents really need to help build their children's confidence levels up at home
  I agree but that's not always easy.   The kids I feel really bad for are the ones who get garbage at school and no support at home.  I wish my son would go to church with me because I think it would help him to see his value.  I try to teach him that he is just as good as any of the other kids but I don't think he sees it. 

where the friends mom pretended to be a boy online and helped drive the girl to suicide.

yes, that was horrible and even worse because it was a mom doing it...well she might have got away with it from the courts but I think in public opinion that woman is guilty...horrible

 

on Mar 31, 2010

Ironically I was never bullied in school. Worse I was ignored totally. I did not fit in any group (jocks, cool kids, geeks, nerds, gothic, bullies) but I learned to adjust to being alone. I had a few friends here and there but never was popular. I, did consider suicide at one point in my life but school was just one of many factors in that thought. of course I never followed thru for I was more concerned with the pain I would cause my family if I did do it.

These days my 2 boys are somewhat popular and up until now my older son had some bully issues but I corrected that immediately. My younger son is not a push over to say the least. if anything I'm more afraid of him being the jock bully type, which I will make sure will not happen.

My heart goes out to this family and if there are groups out there who are passionate about things like healthcare, animals, racism and global warming, maybe some people need to be more pasionate about our children are what they do and what happens to them.

on Mar 31, 2010

Locamama
My son seems to be content enough with his life.  I just worry that he will always live with me and only want to play games and not shower - lol. 

Well, the difference between your son and mins is mine likes to watch movies and play music instead of playing games.  The rest is the same.

on Mar 31, 2010

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/03/30/2010-03-30_mom_of_teen_charged_with_bullying_south_hadley_hs_student_phoebe_prince_into_sui.html

So here is an article where on of the "mean girls" mom's says her daughter only "called her names".  "They're teenager".  Does this mom not get the fact that the girl is dead? 

Well, the difference between your son and mins is mine likes to watch movies and play music instead of playing games. The rest is the same
  So I'm not alone

My heart goes out to this family and if there are groups out there who are passionate about things like healthcare, animals, racism and global warming, maybe some people need to be more pasionate about our children are what they do and what happens to them.

absolutely

 

on Mar 31, 2010

It would have been a pity no matter what she looked like

You are correct, however if a person fits a pattern sometime things like this are easier (not always) to catch. If a child appears to be someone that can easily fit in, they can be overlooked. I didn't mean to come off like attractive people shouldn't have a problem, just that problems might not be as apparent.

on Mar 31, 2010

I didn't mean to come off like attractive people shouldn't have a problem, just that problems might not be as apparent.
  I understand your point.  It just makes me sad when people (in general) seem to think losing an attractive person is a greater loss. 

on Mar 31, 2010

It just makes me sad when people (in general) seem to think losing an attractive person is a greater loss.

Not the response I was trying to espouse (but I could see thy one would come to that conclusion). Just wanted to illustrate that people one would might never consider to have problems, definitely can.

on Apr 01, 2010

It is really good to see you in print, Mama.  And don't be too hard on Nitro, I had the same thought cross my mind when I saw her picture.  It is usually the shy, misfits, and less attractive who draw the predators.  Not diminishing the severity or horror of the event at all.  

This is not a new phenom, but seems to be more in the public eye lately.  I was bullied some in school...always a new guy... especially in Hawaii.  Some kids can deal with it, some can't.  Like you said, support at home is crucial but unfortunately, not always enough.  A lot of kids define too much of who they are by their friends and their popularity.  The challenge for adults, parents and educators, is to help them feel good about who they are.

MamaCharlie is just now updating me on some of the particulars in this case and I guess the other side of the equation, the tormentors, are the main problem here.  It is a sad deal in any community when people don't feel a part of life and get ridiculed for it. 

on Apr 01, 2010

The challenge for adults, parents and educators, is to help them feel good about who they are.

absolutely and I would for the educators to put a stop to it. 

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