I'm sorry to hear all this Loca.  I'm especially to see this about your family splitting up.      Marriage is hard and we need to fight for it sometimes.  Is there no chance for reconciliation?  Usually there's still a spark there somewhere but it has to be worked at to get it going again.  So many times I've seen those who regret leaving their marriages down the road. 

Have you tried applying at a bank?  Or a school?  With kids still home usually these hours are pretty good for working moms.  I know a young 18 year old who started working part time in a bank just months ago getting $10 bucks an hour and they just hired her full time with benefits and schooling reimbursements. 

 

It's not what I want.  I believe I've stayed longer than most would have.  I haven't filed yet but the situation is just becoming untenable.  Even I have my limits.   

I have applied through the school system but not at the banks.  I will have to look into that.  I'm sure I could also get a job at a daycare center but I haven't applied there yet either. 

I do appreciate your concern though, KFC. 

Amy, most daycares don't pay worth crap.

I worked in one for a brief (very brief) time years ago, and even with my education and experience I made minimum wage. It was fun and challenging, but the pay was too much of an issue for me.

I think the thing that sucks for SAHM or WAHM who try to re-enter the job force is that you're starting back at the bottom of the rung whereas career moms have had years to build their experience and have a pay that matches.

I know you have done everything you can to keep your marriage together, and I am very sad for you that it's not looking good right now. You are so bright and resourceful, though, that I know you will land on your feet if it comes to that. You may have a rough start but I have no doubt that you will find something you love that does a great job paying the bills.

Heh, and don't forget child support and alimony. Not much, but it's something. And me being me, I would be sure to get the MAX amount I could and take everything I could. Your contribution to your marriage and your raising of your children all these years is worth something, and you deserve that stability and whatever assets your husband can provide even if you two are no longer together.

Now that I am back in Texas I think we need to figure out a time to have a girls night and get some margaritas or something.

Love you girl! You will be fine! I *know* it!!

Thanks Brandie.  We will get together at some point.  Margaritas make everything better - lol. 

I too am sad to hear about your marriage.  I can't offer any advice except to say I've been there too and have some small understanding of how difficult this time can be.  I'm thinking of you...

Oh yeah, the more, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

Loca I am sorry to hear things aren't going well for the marriage.   That stinks.  Will you stay in Texas?  Maybe if you could come home and get some help from your mom or family it won't be so bad.

I don't know what your education background is, but if you get divorced with three kids you could probably max out the Pell grant.  That and a part/full time job would get you started...especially if you have family around to help with occasional child care.

If you are close to a base, can you check the civilian personnel office?  They usually have decent jobs at decent pay and give military spouses, or ex military, dibs.

 

For the same reasons that make it more difficult for Simon to find employment.  You're older, you have a family, and experienced or not, you are going to require far more income than someone 'just out of high school' and these employers know it.

While you may be perfectly willing to take a low-paying position to start with, employers know you aren't going to stick around very long if you aren't making a decent wage and will soon have to be replaced.  In addition, you're an insurance liability, and the older you get the worse that situation is gonna be.

Sad but true.

I wish I had some sage advice to give ya here, kiddo, but our own situation is pretty damned dire itself.  I hope the correct path reveals itself to you soon.

And I'll second the 'girls night out' thing, I only wish that I could attend too.

I don't think I live close enough or I would get paid enough to justify the gas expense.  I would like to stay in my town but I may have to look there before its all over. 

Today things look better.  I'm not sure about tommorow.  That's why I've mostly learned to keep it to myself instead of broadcasting it on the internet.  I do appreciate your thoughts though. 

I'm having a better day today.  I just have my days when things seem hopeless.  I just keep going because what are the other options?  I'm hoping your hubby finds a good job soon too. 

That would be fun if all the girls from JU could get together for a girls night out.  We'll have to have a virtual girls night out sometime.  Geeky, yeah, I know. 

Loca, I'm thinking about you and sending positive vibes and prayers your way. Hang in there and most of all don't give up!  When it's time you'll find that job that is just for you!  I'm sorry your marriage is not what you expected it to be right now.  It's not easy, I know.

Ditto on the girls night out, I would be there with bells on, if I could!

Good luck with your job search and I hope you find the perfect role for you soon!

If all else fails, have you considered a trade? Most places have a desperate need for tradespeople, so if you pick the right place you might even get a government booster for becoming a carpenter/electrician/plasterer.

It's worth a thought anyway, because after you've passed the apprenticeship the pay can be excellent, and women will prefer to use you because you're a woman, so business will be easy to get.

Of course, you'll be struggling during those apprenticeship years finance-wise, but you might be able to get a loan or work a second job to cope.

I know this sounds odd, but I would hold off on the divorce until you are employed.  Not as a financial thing, but as a relationship thing.  Being empowered to stand on your own does wonders for relationships.  Knowing that you stay together because you want to rather than HAVE to, can make a world of difference. 

As for the job search, it is a different world now then when you graduated.  People require more schooling to get jobs, and even the entry level desk jobs usually require at least an Associates degree.

However, you resume, cover letter and interview can make a big difference on how you are received.  I am in charge of HR here, so I have seen a lot of good and really bad resumes come through.  If you are interested in an opinion on yours, I can give you my email address and I could critique it for you.

I know single moms that get a job (any job they can get) and also do home party sales (Tastefully simple, Body Shop, Partylite, etc.) to make ends meet.  That way they get some time with their friends hosting the parties and still make some money. 

That is an excellent point.  I think I will be much happier and feel less dependent when I am working outside of the home. 

Thanks FS. 

I used to do Stampin' Up! but went inactive earlier this year.  I do face painting at birthday parties etc. which helps but definately doesn't pay the bills. 

Honestly, i can say that's something I never even thought about.  I'll think about it though. 

That would be great and I would appreciate it.  My email is listed, well let me just tell you here it's hubbamy at hotmail  dot com

 

If you are serious about considering a trade, becoming a sparky or a plumber are the ways to go. With a housing downturn people spend less on new homes, but they'll always want their house rewired/new powerpoints put in/taps shifted or changed or that sort of thing.

well, im sorry. i really hope it all works out for you.

Try makeup sales. I think it's Avon? They have a cheap start up, high margins for the sellers (50%) and no minimum sales.

Good luck with that, and getting a job.